Unshakeable Self Trust
What it actually means and how it’s built
I have unshakeable self trust.
What does that even mean? If I’m being honest, I can’t remember the last time I felt fear. And it’s not because I don’t push myself into bigger arenas. I do. Consistently.
It’s because I know I’m built for it. I know I’ve trained for it. I know what I’m capable of.
I did a lot to get here.
Unshakeable self trust doesn’t just remove fear from the system.
It does a lot of other things too. It clears the noise. There’s zero time or energy spent on comparison.
It minimizes, almost eliminates, the weight of other people’s opinions.
Not because I don’t care, but because I’m not looking outside for direction.
It sharpens focus. It brings you back to what’s yours. It creates a level of steadiness that doesn’t get rocked every time something shifts.
How I Built This
Everything about this is trained.
And it’s built through a few non-negotiables:
1. I’ve spent decades looking inward
I’ve done the work to actually know myself.
The more you know yourself, the more grounded you become.
The more grounded you are, the less you’re pulled by everything outside of you.
I know who I am.
I know my character.
I know what I value.
I know how I show up at my best and when I’m off.
I know what I need and I sure as hell know what I want.
I know my voice is meant to be used and I use it.
That level of awareness creates stability. And stability builds trust.
2. I invest my time. I don’t spend it
Time is not something I casually give away.
I invest it.
In people who expand me.
In conversations that challenge me.
In thoughts that move me forward.
Yes, the way that you think is considered an investment of time and energy.
Because your thoughts are either building trust or breaking it.
So I’m intentional about where my time and energy go.
3. I check my environment
Your environment is either reinforcing your standard or working against it.
There’s no neutral.
My spaces reflect how I want to feel and who I am becoming.
My office inspires me.
My home is filled with art and language that pushes me.
“What’s the best that could happen?”
“It’s going to happen, because I’m going to make it happen.”
Kobe and people that inspire me on my walls.
Those aren’t just phrases or photos.
They’re anchors.
You see something enough, you start to believe it.
You believe it, you start to live it.
4. I’m intentional with what I consume
I can always tell when someone is over-consuming and under-creating.
They lose themselves.
They start looking outward for answers instead of building their own.
I spend a significant amount of time focused on what I can control and consuming things that elevate, inspire, and push me to create and go bigger. It needs to push:
My actions.
My effort.
My mindset.
My preparation.
Consumption is a tool.
But creation is where trust is built.
5. I live my purpose daily
This isn’t something I tap into when it’s convenient.
It’s how I move through the world.
In my work, yes.
But also in the smallest, most unexpected moments.
I see people.
I remind them they matter.
I remind them they have something to offer.
I remind them to play bigger.
Whether it’s a client, someone I meet at a coffee shop, or a passing interaction.
When you are consistently in service, something shifts.
You stop questioning your value.
You start living it.
Why This Matters
Because self trust isn’t built in a single moment.
It’s built in how you live.
Every decision.
Every rep.
Every time you follow through.
Every time you choose alignment over distraction.
You are either proving to yourself that you can trust you…
Or that you can’t.
Unshakeable self trust is not something you wake up with.
It’s something you build.
Through consistency.
Through awareness.
Through intention.
Through choosing, over and over again, to show up in a way that reinforces who you are and what you’re capable of.
And when you build it…
You live differently.
You stop hesitating. You stop outsourcing your decisions. You stop waiting for permission. You trust that whatever is in front of you, you will meet it.
So how does this connect to birth?
To becoming a parent of two?
To building a growing business?
It’s everything.
Because these are not light moments.
They ask more of you.
They stretch you.
They expose where you’re solid and where you’re not.
And I can feel all of that right now.
But I’m not looking outward for cues on how to handle it. I’m not attaching myself to the narratives of people who are constantly overwhelmed, exhausted, or buried by the weight of it all. I’m personally over the complaints and exhausting narratives of others.
That’s their experience.
Not mine.
I want more pressure. I want more weight. I want more responsibility.
And you better fucking believe I am building a system that can handle it.
Everything you want in life asks more of you.
More capacity. More steadiness. More self leadership. More responsibility.
So if you want more, train for more.
Do the inner work. Be so solid in who you are that the external world can’t tell you otherwise. Look at your environment. Audit it and change it! I love Marshall Goldsmith’s quote “What got you here, won’t get you there”. As the weight of life and work gets heavier, the system needs to get stronger.
Because everything you want in life needs to be trained for.