Don’t Look Up to Someone, Look Towards Them

Stop idolizing, start owning—why shifting your perspective changes everything.

These were my exact words to a client yesterday.

We live in a society that constantly reinforces hierarchy—placing people, success, and achievement above us. Whether it’s in business, sports, or personal growth, we’re conditioned to believe that some people are simply ahead while we’re perpetually trying to catch up. The problem? That mindset quietly programs a dangerous narrative: I am less than. They are of greater value. I need to reach their level. Instead of fueling growth, this creates distance. Instead of inspiring, it limits.

But here’s the thing—when you’re too busy looking up at someone else, you’re missing what’s right in front of you.

You’re missing your own progress. Your own wins. Your own path.

It’s like the people who never stop to smell the fucking roses because they’re so focused on the next thing, the next goal, the next level. Always reaching, never fully being. The same applies here. When you idolize someone, you’re so focused on their journey that you lose track of your own. You stop seeing what you’ve already built, how far you’ve already come, and the possibility that you’re not behind—you’re just on a different road.

My mother always said to me, "Megan, people wake up in the morning and put their pants on the same way, one leg at a time. DO NOT put anyone above you and DO NOT think you are better than anyone else." Whew. That one stuck. It’s not about thinking less of yourself, and it’s not about putting yourself on a pedestal either. It’s about seeing people as people—no more, no less.

That perspective changes everything. Here’s how.

Look Towards, Not Up—Shifts the Hierarchy

The moment you place someone above you, you reinforce a gap that might not even exist. You assume they are on another level, rather than realizing that success and growth are not about higher or lower—they’re about movement. Looking towards someone, rather than up at them, shifts the dynamic from hierarchy to possibility.

Own Your Value Instead of Shrinking It

When admiration turns into idolization, it erodes self-trust. You start fixating on what they have that you don’t instead of recognizing what you bring to the table. There’s a difference between learning from someone and putting them on a pedestal. One expands you, the other shrinks you.

I mean, let’s face it—have you ever looked up to someone, met them, and suddenly saw them differently because you realized they’re just as human as you? Flawed, imperfect, figuring things out? Yep. That moment of clarity is a reminder: No one is above you. No one is untouchable.

See People Fully, Not as Untouchable

People who are admired, praised, and idolized often experience the other side of this: they aren’t seen as real people anymore. My work involves coaching individuals who are frequently put on a pedestal. And what I can tell you? It dehumanizes them. They’re boxed into an image, expected to be more—wiser, stronger, infallible. That kind of pressure distances them from real connection, and more often than not, they feel isolated because of it.

Looking towards someone instead of up at them allows them to be human, just like you. It creates space for mutual respect, rather than unrealistic expectations.

Keep Your Power—Don’t Hand It Over

Looking up at someone subconsciously hands over your power. You start believing they have the answers, the skills, the success you lack. But when you look towards them, you’re seeking inspiration while staying in ownership of your path. You aren’t waiting for permission—you’re making moves.

Success Isn’t a Destination—It’s a Process

Looking up makes success feel distant, as if there’s a final level where someone has it all figured out. The reality? No one has arrived. No one is untouchable. Even the best are still refining, evolving, and pushing forward. When you shift your mindset, you stop waiting to reach a place that doesn’t exist and start building from where you are.

Real Connection Happens at Eye Level

The moment you put someone on a pedestal, you lose the ability to see them fully. You see their highlight reel, not their reality. Looking towards them instead of up at them allows for real learning, real connection, and real growth. It keeps you in the game instead of standing on the sidelines.

The shift from looking up to looking towards is powerful. It’s the difference between passively admiring and actively stepping into your own potential.

And just like stopping to smell the fucking roses, it reminds you to actually take in where you are. Not where someone else is. Not where you think you should be. But where you are—right now. Because when you stop chasing an illusion and start owning your path, you don’t just move forward. You rise.